Most of us turned 18, signed a stack of student loan papers, and were told to go handle our money. Nobody handed us a manual or told us how to start.
Melissa Mittelstaedt is an Accredited Financial Counselor® who works with conscious entrepreneurs who also enjoy a little woo-woo. She has been featured in outlets like US News and World Report, The Muse, and MSN. This week on The Chaotic Middle, she explained why nobody is truly "bad at money," and why women need to claim their financial power.
Nobody Is Bad at Money
As a Melissa Accredited Financial Counselor®, Melissa has seen and solved all sorts of money issues. With Melissa, money is never just a plug-and-play spreadsheet. She also coaches her clients through mindset issues.
Because when it comes down to it, emotions, mindset, and energy all play a role. Instead of simply looking at the math, she looks at what she calls the four prongs of money: business, personal, tactical, and spiritual.
She also pushes back on the idea that some people are bad at money. Most of us got no education on it. At 18, we became adults, and the expectation was that we would figure it out.
"It's not something innate that we're born with. It's a skill that we have to decide we want to learn."
The Personal Finance Crisis That Started It All
Melissa's background is in sign language interpreting, a career she has had for 17 years. When she got her first paychecks, she realized she had a problem. She left college with over $50,000 in debt, which is about $78,000 in today's money. Her income didn't seem to cover living expenses and loan payments.
She had a panic attack in the staff lounge and cried on a velvet green couch. A colleague asked a question that changed her path. Maybe it wasn't the paycheck, but how she was managing the money?
"She was so right. I didn't have a clue."
Melissa dove in. Within three years, she had cleared her debt and saved $15,000 for her wedding.
Why Entrepreneurs Need a Money System
Melissa works with entrepreneurs because their income rarely arrives in a steady line. Money comes in, then slows, then surges again. Paying yourself a little more one month and a little less the next is exhausting for the business and the household.
Her approach starts with the household. She asks her clients, “How much does your home need from the business?” From there, you work backward. What does the business need to operate, and what cash reserves should you hold?
"I look at it as that line that goes up and down. When I work with folks, we create that stable line across your business and your household."
Women, Spending Power, and Our Recent History
Melissa shared that women control about 80% of a household's consumer spending. However, many of the businesses receiving that money are not run by women.
As Melissa said, more money in the hands of good women benefits everyone. When women understand how their money moves and spend according to their values, they can shift how things are done. It’s like voting with your wallet. Supporting businesses with the same values we have shows those in charge that we're really putting our money where our mouths are.
"We have the spending power as women. We're kind of unstoppable."
It’s also important to note that women having financial power is relatively new. Women couldn't get their own credit cards until 1974, only a decade before either of us were born. Our great-grandmothers often couldn't get capital for their ideas without a man.
I want to be very clear here: Neither of us is anti-men. Supportive partners matter. I shared that my husband's job carrying our health insurance helped me start my business. When I asked if he wanted his name on my LLC, he said, "Why would I want my name on something that doesn't belong to me?" Having a good partner can make all the difference. The magic happens when both people understand the value of that equal partnership.
A Healthy Relationship With Money
After clearing her debt, Melissa followed a famous personal finance philosophy that she compared to diet shaming. It worked on the debt, but it damaged her relationship with money. She wanted to control every penny. It became her against her money.
She now teaches a different approach. A healthy relationship should feel like a friendship, not a power struggle.
"What relationship do you ever enter saying, I want to control the other person?"
She frames spending around values. What lights you up? For Melissa, it is a fun dinner and a drink. For someone else, it might be a good pair of shoes. Stripping away all joy is not a sustainable plan. Sometimes you need a piece of cheesecake to get through the day.
Why This Matters in Business Conversations
Entrepreneurs talk about money all the time with clients and prospects. If you feel weird saying your price, the other person notices. Melissa also dislikes the phrase "price objection." When someone pushes back, remember that they have money baggage too.
Her clients bring baggage as well. Melissa said she is sometimes the first person they've ever discussed money with. Money beliefs often form around age seven, and many of us grew up hearing that money doesn't grow on trees. Unpacking and rewriting those beliefs takes time. That's okay.
Giving Back Through Deaf Financial Coaching
Melissa donates a portion of her revenue to hire a deaf financial coach who provides free services to deaf individuals. She earned her interpreting degree in Minnesota, where the deaf community shaped who she is. While getting her accreditation, she befriended a deaf classmate and asked if he would coach others.
People often ask why she doesn't make deaf clients her niche. She knows the language, but she does not have the lived experience of being deaf. Connecting clients with someone who does felt like the obvious choice.
"If I can connect them with a deaf person, why would I not do that?"
Answering the Chaotic Questions
At the end of every episode, I ask each guest the same three questions. Here’s how Melissa answered.
If you could go back in time and talk to your 2005 self, what would you say to her?
My 2005 self had just graduated from college and was considering going back to school to get my interpreting degree. So, I think I would tell myself at that time to start investing. I don't care if it's $50. I don't care if it's $25. Put some money in the damn market, Melissa. I waited way too long to do that.
A new mom comes to you for advice. What's the first thing you tell her?
There's so much pressure on moms to like do the right thing and make sure they say the right thing and all of that. But look, we all end up in therapy no matter how perfect our moms are. So, don't be afraid to have the money conversation in whatever way makes sense to you.
What do you hope people remember about you from this time period?
I hope that people remember that I talk about money all the time, but that's not what's actually important. It's what we're doing with our money in regard to how we live our lives. Are we living it? Are we spending it in ways that are joyful? And how we're uplifting others?
Where to Find Melissa
You can access all of Melissa’s freebies, resources, and coaching opportunities on her website. She’s also really active on social media, especially Threads, LinkedIn, and Instagram.
Money Is a Tool for Change
Money is not the point. It is the tool that lets us live joyfully and lift others up. If this conversation helped you see money differently, share it with a friend who could use the same reminder.
If you want to hear more stories about incredible women doing incredible things, check out The Chaotic Middle anywhere you listen to podcasts, including:
